Kad raya pertama tahun ini

Terima kasih daun keladi kepada bekas teman serumahku Nadia yang sudi menitipkan kad raya ini kepadaku. terharu ceqqq...xoxo uols

Too much hope

When people start judging us, they mean that they put all their trust on us. and they hope what they really hope. when they put too much hope, it will become a burden to us. when it comes to hope, meaning that we have to put all our effort on doing such things. that so-called hope become the stressful work that we could imagine. plus with the silly mistakes we might do, worse come to worst. eventhough we had tried so hard we still can't satisfy people's heart. their satisfaction is high, beyond expectation.

Yes, "customer is always right" is right. no denial to that phrase. there comes give and take. give your ideas and find the solution which can satisfy her heart and hope. take the whole idea and digest it in your own way. this is a win-win situation. i know she's going to wear it on her big day. she want to look nice. not just nice. damn nice. and pretty. i hope she will, too. there is neither a reason why i want to sabotage her nor even think about that. it just happened. something that we least expected. the miscommunication. i blame myself for that.

Now that the second chance was given. so the pressure is totally high. undo the mistake and start again. and the hope come back. not gonna repeat the line again. think, undo and start working.

Sughat untok adik

Adik, adik, awat la hang buat laguni? awat la hang jadi lagutu. dari skolah sampai hang dah gheja hang dok nyusah mak pak hang lagi. hang tak kesian ka kat mak. dok gheyau pasai hang wat prangai. hang tak tau ka hang dah menitiskan ayaq mata seorang mak, berdosa woo. tau la hang muda lagi nak enjoy, gheja teghok, gheja boring. tapi hang kena ingat la. hang kalau takdak duet hang habaq la kat kami. habaq la kat mak ngan abah. mintak kat aku pon tak pa aih. hang ingat aku takdak duet ka? ada la jugak sikit2. kalau takdak aku mintak kat mak. yang hang p berutang ahlong tu watpa??? cari pasai la hang ni. darah mak naik sampai tengkok dah hang tau dak?? hang nak bagi mak pi dulu ka? hang berutang, pak hang berutang, abang hang pon berutang. abih satu kaum keghabat berutang. hampa ni takdak gheja lain ka? kesian la kat mak bergolok bergadai rantai maih semoa dok bayaq utang hampa ja. kami gheja sampai nak putuih urat betih nak bayaq utang hampa semata. dah kami takdak pa la jugak. lagi satu yang hang dok pi main natang haram jadah tu pasaipa? dah hang tau haram hang lagi mau pi main. hang ni semayang dah la tak beropa nak lengkap. paihtu dok wat benda haram lak. hang ingat bleh kaya ka? lagi papa kedana ada la. gamak banyak sangat duet sampai tak tau nak wtpa bagi mai kat aku ni. dari hang dok pi main judi haram jadah tu bukan bleh menang pon. kalau menang pon duet tu hang bleh watpa ja? blanja pompuan tak malu tu?? gamak takdak gheja dah nak wat dalam kem tu baik hg pedeghaih moto balik mai. gamak sunggoh la hang ni. tak kesian kat mak pak hang ka? naseb baik la aku tak pi mana dok ada tang ni ja. dah la mangkok yang kat umah ni tak gheti2 pi cari duet sendiri. menyusahkan lagi. bukan aku nak berkira dengan hampa dua ekoq tapi benda dah betoi hampa yang tak gheti pikiaq. kalau tak ingat Tuhan pon ingat la kat mak pak hang yang bersusah payah bagi hampa senang. tak gamak depa tengok hampa kebuloq. tapi hampa tak paham2. mak dok haghap la hang elok kat sana. hang ja yang ada gheja elok tapi hang wat prangai camni plak. tak serik2 hang ni noo..hang dah korek balik ceghita lama 7 taun dulu. ka hang tak ingat dah?

dah la wei bertobat la kesian la kat mak. siang malam dok doa bagi hang elok, jadi manusia berguna, beriman, anak soleh. tapi hang langsung takdak rasa kesian. hang tak rasa bersalah ka? hang tak balik raya ni tak tau la aku. mak nak jadi lagu mana pon tak tau la. hang wat lagutu kat mak hang berdosa besaq dah. hang kena mintak ampun la wei. tobat tak wat dah. tah banyak mana lagi hang utang dengan orang kami pon tak tau. kot bulan posa ni nak dengaq brita elok2. ni dak aa dengaq brita hat bleh sakit jantung punya. nak raya pon tak senang dah. hishhh adik, adik.. hang tulong na wat prangai elok2 skit. bagi mak senang.

Whenever, Wherever

(Reminder: This is not Shakira's lyric ahaks..)

Whenever I want to write, wherever I want to express my feeling the laptop is not with me. But whenever I switch on the mode, the mood to write fly away. Dunno what to tell. The feeling is there but it won't come out.

Salam Ramadhan

Selamat berpuasa uolls. 

Puasalah dengan keikhlasan dan penuh hemah. jangan setakat puasa ja, sembahyangnya tidak. tidur banyak pun tak guna, makruh namanya. tahulah awak tu puasa. orang lain pun puasa jugak tapi boleh ja buat kerja.

My heart is for you

I always wanted to be a writer. to write stories and poems. or write something about myself and the world and everything that happens around me and what i feel everyday and what i dream about and some love story even though i don't have any. i read books and poems and always wanted to be like them; the writers, the poets. they wrote in their own world. they wrote almost about anything. frankly yet imaginative. honesty yet cynical. but i'm a little bit afraid that no want would like to read. because it might be a little boring or stereotypical or nonsense or might have i-macam-pernah-baca kinda feeling. and because i have a little ability to write. i mean i can dream very well and imagine lotsa things but my vocabulary is low. very low. i do not have the right words to put in my poems. you know the bunga-bunga kind of words. and i do not know how to arrange the plot in my story. it's true. i never learn how to write well and how to be a writer.

however, i love to write. in my black book which i keep it to myself. poems of what i went through everyday. okay not everyday. but whenever the ideas got into my head. or when the mood of writing knocking the door of idea. or when i'm alone and think about him. it's always him. him that will never exist. i guess. or someday he'll find me. or i'll found him.

p/s: this is no a photoblog anymore. but there will be once in a blue moon.

Saya pasti bukan menantu pilihan

sebab saya kurus dan tak berisi
tak banyak mulut dan kurang komunikasi
tak pandai cerita dan suka menyendiri
mengemas sekali sekala memasak kurang pasti
tak tahu itu tak tahu ini
kurang serba serbi